The House That Built My Mom

Originally published on Little Merry Sunshine, August 17, 2010.

Right after Christmas, my Aunt Dixie died. She was Nana's last living sister. It wasn't entirely unexpected; she'd been doing poorly last July at Nana's funeral and pretty much went straight downhill from there.

I'll be honest, Aunt Dixie's death was bittersweet to me. On the one hand, she was the last of Nana's sisters and the last of the Greatest Generation in our family. It would not be an understatement to say she was the matriarch (or maybe more accurate to say she thought she was). Her home in Batesville, Mississippi was the gathering spot for family celebrations, tragedies, and everything in between. On the other hand, she had publicly blamed me for my parents divorce when I was 12 and I'd spent the past 25 years or so staying out of her way. As sad as her passing was, there was part of me that felt relieved and even glad.

Mom and I debated whether or not to make the 10 hour drive to Batesville, Mississippi for Aunt Dixie's funeral, but ultimately decided that we wanted to be there and as a bonus, we'd get to "celebrate" with Christmas with Nana by visiting her grave. I packed a little bite of Nana's fruitcake and one of the Christmas ornaments I'd made for my Nana-themed Christmas tree to leave at Nana's grave and off we went.

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Mom was born in Oxford, Mississippi and lived in Batesville until she was 8. Nana, of course, was born and raised in Batesville, as was my grandfather Jesse, who died 10 years before I was born. Nana's sisters Johnnie and Dixie also lived most of their lives in Batesville and their children raised their kids either in Batesville or in a neighboring town. With the exception of my mom's brother Michael and his family, Dave and I were the only ones not raised at least part-time in Batesville.

Until Nana's funeral, it had been 15 years since either Mom or I had been to Batesville and we both knew this would probably be our last trip. For me, this trip was about saying goodbye to Nana in a way I hadn't had time or the emotional ability to do in July. For mom, this trip was about to be about her ability to reconcile her childhood with her present and future.

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The day of Aunt Dixie's funeral, Mom and I were up and dressed early with about an hour and a half to spare before we were expected anywhere. Mom wanted to drive around and see some old "landmarks."

First, we drove to the house Nana was raised in. At least four generations of my family have lived in this house. From Big Mama (Nana's mom) to Nana and her sisters Johnnie, Dixie, and Mazie, to all four sisters and their families separately and together, to Johnnie's grandson Robert, many members of our family can count this house as "home" at one point or another. It was part of the family farm, which at some point after Aunt Johnnie's death was sold.

I remember sitting in Aunt Johnnie's kitchen when I was about 6 or 7 and feeling the house shake and hearing the dishes rattle. I turned to my mom and said, "they sure do have low flying airplanes around here," even though we were no where near an airport. As a kid growing up 15 minutes from O'Hare, it was simply the only thing I could imagine would make such a racket. Aunt Johnnie turned to me and in no uncertain terms informed me that it was a freight train and the railroad tracks were 100 yards outside her front door. She then asked my mom what kind of a child she was raising that didn't know the difference between an airplane and a freight train. The thing about Aunt Johnnie was that if you didn't know where you stood with her you were either deaf or you weren't listening.

The house that built Nana. They added on the bathroom located in the left of the picture behind the bush. Before that, they had an outhouse. The railroad tracks are 100 yards to the right of the house as you're looking at it.

Mom wanted me to see her elementary school, Batesville Elementary School, which had also been Nana's elementary school. It's been Batesville's elementary school since 1897 and occupies one entire city block.

Next, we drove by Aunt Dixie's house on Highway 6. It doesn't look like much from the outside, but on the inside, the rooms are elaborately decorated in the Federalist style, or as I affectionately refer to it, Early American Whorehouse. Honestly, I affectionately refer to it that way. In fact, there are some pieces of Nana's furniture that have been in Aunt Dixie's house for years that I'm hoping I can get because I love them. Aunt Dixie also has a huge basement that her late husband, Uncle Happy, built. We used to have the most fun family parties down there. In fact, it was in Aunt Dixie's basement, that Aunt Mazie flashed the entire family one Christmas. But I digress.

When Mom lived in Batesville, her house was located just left of Aunt Dixie's house. After Mom's family moved to Crystal Beach, Florida, they sold the house and it was moved to make way for a strip mall.

As I said, Mom's house was moved about a mile or so from its original location after it was sold. Over the year, Mom has mentioned many times that she has always wanted to go back into the house and see how it looks now. When they moved to Florida in 1956, it was a very sudden move and I don't even think Mom knew they were moving. I've always understood that they went for vacation to visit Mom's godmother and decided to stay. In fact, they left most of their furniture in Batesville because they believed they'd be back, but they never returned.

Because there were cars in the driveway, I pulled into the drive and told Mom to go knock on the door. I can't remember the last time I saw Mom move so fast as she did racing up to that door. A middle-aged woman answered and it only took a second for her to invite Mom inside, while I waited in the car. There was a part of me that wanted to see the house my grandfather built and see where my mom came from, but I knew this was really Mom's journey and worried a stranger wouldn't let two women she didn't know just roam around her house.

Mom returned about 20 minutes later with tales of how nice the woman was and how much of the house was still the same. The bookshelves my grandfather built in Mom's room were still there. The kitchen and the pantry were still the same. The owner, who it turned out was the daughter of the family that purchased the house from Nana and my grandfather, bragged to my mom about how well my grandfather built everything so only minimal work had had to be done over the years.

Getting back in the car, I could see a glow on Mom's face I hadn't seen for years. She was so happy to have been given this gift of visiting her childhood home and the only house she felt like they were a happy family in.


Having been at Mom's house in Batesville, I now have a better appreciation for the old 8mm family movies I found last summer and had converted into DVD. I can better picture these movies being filmed inside Mom's house in Batesville. This is the only video I have of my grandfather. (Get Little Merry Sunshine via email? Click here and go watch the video on Little Merry Sunshine.)

Jessica Gardner from Orange Guest on Vimeo.

Being back in Batesville was not easy. It was an emotional trip, but it was well worth the 20 hours we spent in the car. I don't know if we'll ever go back, so I'm a happy I gave Mom the time with her cousins and the opportunity to step back in time in her old home.

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A few months later, I first heard the Miranda Lambert song, The House That Built Me, and it brought tears to my eyes as it took me back to that day in Batesville with Mom.

A Lifetime of Dreams

Originally published on Little Merry Sunshine on May 11, 2010.

As I go through the process of cleaning out Nana's house, I look around at all the stuff that's accumulated during her almost 93 years and I think about the meaning of it all. On one level, it's all stuff. Some of it has some financial worth, but most of it can only be valued in sentiment. But on another level, all the stuff she's collected represents her lifetime of dreams. Dreams not only for herself, but also for her children and grandchildren.

I've looked through old photo albums and scrapbooks and seen her pride in my mom's and uncle's accomplishments. I've read through the letters she sent to Presidents Kennedy and Johnson after my grandfather died in 1961 attempting to get a mistake about my grandfather's VA benefits (and subsequent benefits for Nana) corrected. I've read letters she wrote to my mom and uncle later in life telling them of her unconditional love and letters she wrote to Dave and me telling us how proud she was of our accomplishments and her hopes for us. I've flipped through the well-worn pages of her Bible knowing that she turned to it nightly for comfort, inspiration, and life's answers. I've found boxes of my baby clothes (many of which she made)she carefully preserved in hopes my daughter would wear them someday. I found the blanket that kept me warm in my crib when I first came home from the hospital (and initially tossed it in the charity box, but then got sentimental and saved it). I've walked through her childhood in Mississippi with her sisters through pictures and diaries. The house itself is the culmination of a lifelong dream. She built it in 1969 from her life savings. The stories I've heard say she would come over after work once the frame was built and hang sheets where she wanted the internal walls to be located. There probably weren't too many other women who were designing and building their own homes. I've held the dress she wore to my parents' wedding in 1970 in awe of just how exquisite it was. She was so proud to walk her daughter down the aisle. I found a silk sari a friend had custom made for Nana in Fiji. Mom didn't even know of its existence. I also found half a dozen quilts Nana hand sewed and felt the care, hope and love she sewed into each stitch.

Sure, it's just stuff, but it all represents a life well lived. She may not have been rich in a financial sense, but she lived life on her terms with love and a never-ending faith in everyone and achieved most, if not all, of her dreams. That makes her wealthy in my book. I hope that when I pass away, whomever is charged with dividing up my personal belongings can say that about me.

Count Your Blessings Every Day (My Eulogy for Nana)

Originally posted on Little Merry Sunshine on July 18, 2009.

Today was Nana's Celebration of Life Service at Crystal Beach Community Church, in Crystal Beach, Florida. She loved this church and was proud to be one of its founding members in 1957. My mom and I both spoke at Nana's service and these were my comments. I'm proud to say I only cried three times and wondered if I could finish my talk just once.

JLG

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Jessica Gardner, Frances' granddaughter. I'm the oldest of her four grandchildren, the only granddaughter, and Virginia's daughter.

My memories of Nana span almost four decades and I could stand here all day sharing stories with you, but rather than do that, I want to focus on what I believe made Nana the woman she was . . . counting her blessings every day.

Late last week, as we were preparing for Nana's passing, I spoke with Denise McCloud, here at the Church. She shared with me how she and Pastor Susie went to visit Nana recently. Nana was sleeping with the most peaceful expression on her face and her hands were folded neatly across her chest, as though in prayer. I remember smiling through my tears, as I heard this story and then shared with Denise that for as long as I've known Nana, she always slept that way - on her back with her fingers interlaced across her chest as though in prayer. I've never seen anyone sleep as peacefully as Nana did.

As we spoke, I continued to share that it was my belief that the reason Nana slept so peacefully every night, never suffering from insomnia or other disruptions to her sleep, was because she always spoke kindly, found the best in others, focused on her blessings rather than what she didn't have or trying to keep up with the Jones's, treated people with respect and the way she wanted to be treated, lived her life with humility, and turned her struggles over to God every night. I never heard Nana gossip, speak ugly about anyone, curse, complain, or hold a grudge, even at times when no one would have faulted her for it. One of her favorite proverbs was Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger." It was one of her most fundamental beliefs.

She was a devout Christian, but you didn't know it because she was constantly telling you about it. You knew it through her deeds and the way she lived her life. Whether she was finding a low-cost, good home for a family in financial distress, bringing a table to a newlywed without any furniture, or dealing with her customers at the bank, Nana was selfless in her actions. She thought of others before she thought of herself and, in my mind, was the originator of the question "What would Jesus do?" I know she asked herself this question many times every day.

Every night, she ended her day the same way. She dropped to her knees, thanked God for the many gifts he had given her (even if sometimes those gifts took the form of "opportunities" or "challenges") and asked for His blessings for all of her loved ones - naming each of them individually. Nana's prayers were never pre-scripted. Each one was unique. She never asked God for material things; rather she thanked him for giving her strength, courage, patience, humility, and providing for her and her family. She knew he had a plan for her and she never questioned it.

For Nana, family always came first. Even when she was working, if any of us would call her, she would always take the call. She may not have been able to speak at that moment other than to say, "Jessica, dear, I'm with a customer now. Can I call you back?" in her sweet Southern drawl, but she never asked anyone to take a message from her family.

I remember that Nana used to always tell me that I was her favorite granddaughter. Now, the fact is that I am her ONLY granddaughter. At first, I didn't like it when she said this to me, but I came to understand that this was her way of telling me what a special blessing having a granddaughter was and I began to look forward to the compliment. When she retired from NationsBank, now Bank of America, a customer presented her with a gift of drugstore chocolates. I remember standing there as she accepted the gift, held the box like it was a rare jewel, looked at the man, and sincerely said, "Oh, that's JUST what I have wanted! A box of really fine chocolates! Thank you so much!" When my parents divorced, she reached out to my dad to let him know that she still loved him and that he was always welcome in her home. Twenty-five years later, he still remembers those words and the impact they had on him, as he related the story to me for the first time, just the other night. He wasn't her ex-son-in-law. He was and has always remained the man who married her daughter and gave her two beautiful grandchildren. Paying you a sincere compliment was one way she counted her blessings every day. She filled herself up by sincerely lifting you up with heart-felt, soft words.

Nana wasn't rich in material goods, but she was rich in all the things that mattered: love, gratitude, compassion, friends, and family. She loved to tell us that we must always count our blessings every day and that included the things we might not think were blessings. She taught me to always find the bright side of life. I might have to search for it, but it was always there. I think my own optimism in life came from her.

One of my favorite things about Nana is how she loved to write letters. I would receive letters from her weekly, no matter what. Sometimes, those letters would be personal letters written just to me. Sometimes they would be copies of letters she had sent to someone else, but thought I'd be interested in. Sometimes, they'd simply be newspaper clippings that she thought might be relevent to my life. I've kept the letters that touched me most and found one recently that I'd been saving just for today.

She wrote this letter seven years ago, in April 2002, as she was recovering from a stroke and just before she went blind. What I love about this letter, is how rather than focusing on her aches, pains, and new limitations, she chose to count her blessings and share them. I think she sent this letter only to me, although it reads like a letter she copied and sent to multiple family members. Maybe she somehow knew this was the perfect way to remember her today. It was simply titled "Happy Days I Recall."

Of course, a happy day was when Daddy (Jesse Paulk) and I married on September 30, 1938.

The happiest day was when I knew Jesus was my Lord and Savior - my strength and my redeemer.

I do not remember being baptized, but when I was a little girl about 6 or 7, Momma had a new dress for me and Momma and Daddy took me to Sunday School. We sat in little chairs in front of churt - about 7 or 8 children and their parents talked to us. I am sure that was the day I was baptized. I have always loved the Lord, but as I grow older, I realize each day - He is my strength and redeemer. He will never leave me or forsake me, if only I believe and I do.

Another great and happy day was when the nure handed me a darling baby girl - Virginia - September 12, 1948. Daddy and I thought we owned the world with Virginia, so sweet and precious.

Another day to remember was when a bouncing baby boy was handed to me, February 22, 1951 - Michael. Daddy thought the whole world was handed to him with that special baby boy. Virginia and Michael have both given us great pleasures then Daddy was taken away on September 12, 1961.

With dear thoughts of Daddy and God's help, they grew up and were a real pleasure, dear children. Never any trouble. I had many smiles each day.

Then came along another darling baby girl in Tampa on June 16, 1971, Jessica. (My first grandchild.) She was so cute and sweet. I remember driving over to Tampa to see the precious new arrival. Such a pleasure you have been. Then came another bouncing baby boy in Ft. Myers, Florida on October 5, 1974, David Gardner. All these dear little babies have made life worth living.

A few years ago, Jessica invited me to Washington, DC for Christmas. As the plane reached DC, I stood by the window and looked at the Capitol, never expecting to see it with my own eyes. I stood there in awe thinking about all the goverment under that dome. It was a sight I shall never forget. That Christmas she got many wonderful passes for us to see all of DC. David, bless his heart, got a wheel chair and pushed me all over Washington. Sights I had only studied in school - never expecting to see with my own eyes. Potomac River was real. All of the beautiful sights of DC and thanks to Jessica and David for all these wonderful sights. Even Christmas Eve services in the beautiful National Cathedral and then a drive to Roanoke, Virginia. I slept in the back seat all the way, but the next day, going back through all those mountains. Had I known I sure would not have slept. Anyway, was a wonderful Christmas - being with Virginia, Jessica, and David. Will always be a wonderful memory.

Then I think of Jesse and Ryan, (my grandsons from my son Michael). I only saw darling pictures of Jesse for a few months with Michael holding him in his arms. Such a precious picture. Then I few to Colorado when he was baptized at home. The preacher came to the house and Maureen (Michael's wife) and Michael had a few friends in. Jesse arrived November 30, 1981 and was named for his grandfather, Jesse Edward Paulk, and someone in Maureen's family was named Michael, so was a nice name - Jesse Michael Paulk - from both sides of the family.

Ryan arrived in a Dunedin, Florida on May 1, 1985 and named Ryan Thomas Paulk. I remember driving to the hospital when he was only a few hours old. He was so dear and sweet.

Certainly I am sad today. Sad at the loss of my dear Nana, whom I will miss more than I can even comprehend right now. But I am blessed to have had her for 38 years and, when I focus on that, my sadness is lifted just a little. She would want us all to focus on the good in each other and in life. To celebrate each day for the gift that it is and to count our blessings, just as she counted hers each day for 93 years.

The Power of Nana's Fruitcake

I originally published Christmas Memories on Little Merry Sunshine on December 25, 2007. It was the last Christmas I spent with Nana and also the last time I saw her. Nana was with us for Christmas 2008, but I didn't go to Florida. I wish I had.

Christmas Memories

I used to think that for it to be Christmas, it had to resemble a Norman Rockwell painting or Hallmark Holiday Commercial. And in a way, maybe I still do. I honestly miss those big, lavish Christmases when my whole family - aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and all - would gather round. Sure, not everyone got along all the time, but we were still family and it was Christmas, so we were together.

The past few years have not resembled anything like what I remember growing up. I've spent Christmas entirely alone or I've spent Christmas with Dave. He's not much into Christmas, so we pretty much go to the movies and I make stew. And sometimes I made it to church on Christmas Eve. And truthfully, I've grown accustomed to our almost non-existent celebrations. He's family and we're together.

This year, we couldn't get together and I had planned to spend the day with a friend, which I was looking forward to. But then a couple of weeks ago, Mom called me from the nursing home with Nana and Nana said to me "I just wish I could see you. I miss you so much." I had an airline ticket within 24 hours for Christmas in Florida with Mom and Nana. I even made plans to see an old college friend while I'm in town.

My trip has not been without its ups and downs. The airline lost my luggage, which might not have been so bad had I not slept a wink the night before and hadn't eaten all day. I was overwhelmed about seeing Nana and was at my wits end. As silly as it sounds, the reason I cared about my luggage had nothing to do with my clothes or any other material items in it, but with the fact that the last couple of slices of Nana's Fruitcake were in it and I brought it to share with Nana on Christmas. It seemed like everything went wrong on Christmas Eve.

But then today was wonderful. Santa delivered my luggage in the middle of the night. I woke up in Nana's house that she built with most of her life savings. The weather was beautiful (how could it not be, it's FLORIDA!!!!!). And in keeping with our new Christmas tradition, Mom and I saw Charlie Wilson's War, which I highly recommend, had lunch at Waffle House, and then had dinner with Nana. After that, we saw the most amazing display of Christmas lights all throughout one Palm Harbor neighborhood.

Today was a good day for Nana. She knew me and knew it was Christmas. She even had moments of humor. I read her The Christmas Story from Luke 2:1-14 and Santa Mouse, both of which she enjoyed. Then Mom mashed up a couple bites of fruitcake, but didn't tell Nana, and then asked her if she could tell what Mom was feeding her. Immediately, she said "It's my fruitcake" as her face lit up.

Giving Nana that moment of joy was the best Christmas gift I could ever receive and reminded me about the true meaning of Christmas. She probably won't be here next year, but I'll always have the memories of how she loved her fruitcake right up until the end and be grateful that I chose to spend Christmas with family this year. And that's better than any Norman Rockwell painting or Hallmark adaptation.

Nana in My Dad's Words

My parents divorced when I was 12. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was just one of those things and, all in all, everything has always been quite amicable. We've all even spent some holidays together - birthdays, graduations, and even a Christmas in the mid-90s. Nana always believed that when you married into our family, you were family forever. No matter what. She always asked about him and continued to have some contact with him over the years.

Early last month, things took a serious turn for the worse and we didn't think she would make it through that week. I called my dad because he always wanted to know how she was and has even spoken to her a few times over the last few years. As broken up as I was, my dad was too. Unbeknownst to me, he then sat down and wrote my mom a letter. I read it today and was moved to tears. My mom said I could share it because he perfectly captured Nana. Needless to say, this is a letter I will cherish forever.

Dear Virginia,

I understand from Jessica that time is getting short for your mother. I can't tell you how sorry I am.

Virginia, Frances is a great lady! She has always done what she thought was best for everyone else - always thinking of herself last. She has always been so gracious and caring. I guess that is what I'll remember most. Even after we split up, she told me she loved me and I was welcome in her home. Even though I haven't seen her in years, the thought of her being gone makes me very sad.

Brief pause while I wipe my eyes . . .

The contributions that Frances made to Crystal Beach and Tarpon Springs will be difficult to match. She touched so many lives. She will be leaving behind a legacy of kindness, caring, and thoughtfulness!

I'm sure in God's eyes she has successfully completed his plan for her. Isn't that what life is really all about?!

Virginia, as we miss her, and we will, be happy for her also. Frances will be entering a Kingdom greater than we can imagine and she will be at peace!

I write this with great love and affection!

John

Thoughts About Nana

I am overwhelmed with the generosity of love that has been sent my way over the last few days. I've received emails from family, friends, and even complete strangers sharing their memories of Nana. Your words and memories have touched my heart, made me smile, and sometimes even brought me a laugh and I wanted to share them. Here are just a few . . .

"I knew Frances fairly well, most from walking past her home in Crystal Beach on the way back from school each day. She would come out of the garden (usually startling me, until I came to expect it) and say a very warm "Hello" and ask how I was. She really wanted to know, too. If I didn't tell her something more substantial than "hi, I'm good," she was sincerely disappointed. She is the kind of woman who adds a lot of the feeling of community, of closeness, that there is something binding all of us together. It is a pleasure to have known her."

"Christmas of 1963, thanks to Frances and Virginia, my mother had her favorite tree -- blue lights, blue ornaments . . . . Frances will be more than fondly remembered by my family."

"I just learned of [Frances'] death. You know that we loved and appreciated her. It was good to see her again on my last visit. Your family will be in my prayers this week."

"I know that it is hard to lose someone you love. She had such a great life and has not had a true life for many years now. We all know that she is in such a better place with many family members and friends. I have enjoyed reading and viewing the pictures of memories."

"I so remember Aunt Frances and interacting with her on numerous occasions. She was such a lady and one who always seemed to have a twinkle in her eyes. Being solicitous of others really stood out to me among her attributes. And who could not be impressed with the fact of her taking piano lessons later in her life and enjoying it so much! We talked of the piano then each time we saw one another as she knew I'd "sort of" played for much of my life. She was deeply committed to her family, and I recall vividly her speaking of you, Jessica, quite often. She loved all of you dearly."

Please feel free to continue to email me your thoughts and your memories. I've saved each one of them and shared them with my family. But you can also feel free to share your experiences with Nana here on the blog through the comments section after each post. I personally approve all comments.

Thank you for the love you have for my family and me.

Welcome to Remembering Frances!

Thank you for visiting Remembering Frances, the blog I set up to honor the memory of my Nana, Frances Scruggs Paulk Bredemeier. My family and I appreciate that you were here.

Nana went home to be with God on Sunday, July 12th. We will forever miss her, but will be comforted by the wonderful memories we have of her sweet Southern drawl, her laughter, her sage words, weekly letters, and those sparkling blue eyes she had until her last breath. As you may know, as a result of Macular Degeneration, Nana became blind in 2002. In speaking with a dear friend last night, I shared that for the first time in 7 years, Nana's sparkling blue eyes can see clearly and I know she is looking down at me and my family and smiling.

I hope these stories and memories bring a smile to your face and give you a sense of the woman my Nana was. Her story is a remarkable one. She was a pioneer in so many ways and my personal hero. She has left a legacy to be proud of and that will ensure her spirit will never leave.

I will be continuing to update this blog over the next few days as more details regarding services emerge. I will also be adding some home movies from the 1950s and other pieces I've written about Nana.

Please let us know you were here and share your memories of Frances by posting a comment at the bottom of any post. You may do that by clicking "Comments" at the bottom of each post.

Please note that when you leave your comments, they will be visible by all who visit the blog. If, however, you wish to leave anything privately for my family (e.g., your address or phone number), please email me privately at happygirl616[at]wowway[dot]com.

Thank you.

Jessica Lynn Gardner

Granddaughter of Frances Scruggs Paulk Bredemeier & Daughter of Virginia Paulk Gardner

Frances Scruggs Paulk Bredemeier - July 18, 1916 - July 12, 2009

This is the obituary that will appear in the St. Petersburg Times and the Tampa Tribune.
JLG

Frances Scruggs Paulk Bredemeier was born July 18, 1916 in a log house out in the country in Batesville, Mississippi to Robert and Lily Scruggs. When she was 16 years old, she canned the most greens beans in all of the State of Mississippi 4-H Clubs. This won her a trip to the 1932 Chicago World’s Fair where she met and had breakfast with Amelia Earhart a few month’s after Miss Earhart’s historic solo flight across the Atlantic. She was Class Valedictorian and Commencement Speaker when she graduated from Batesville High School in 1934, with a full scholarship to Bellhaven College in Bellhaven, Mississippi.

She married Jesse E. Paulk on September 30, 1938. They lived in Batesville where her husband was head of Paulk Brothers Well Drilling and Plumbing. On April 23, 1956, Jesse Paulk brought in the largest gas well ever to be brought in the Southeastern United States. They were members of Batesville Presbyterian Church and she was a member of the Batesville Woman’s Club, which helped get the phrase “under God” added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954.

In 1956, Mrs. Paulk and her husband Jesse and their children, Virginia and Michael, moved to Crystal Beach, Florida. She worked for Ellis National Bank in Tarpon Springs, Florida (later to become Bank of America), where she was the first woman Vice President in the Ellis Bank Group. She retired from banking after 40 years on July 16, 1996, just two days before her 80th birthday.

In Florida, Mrs. Paulk was a charter member of the Crystal Beach Community Church, which was founded in 1957 by the Rev. C.W.A. Bredemeier, whom she later married on August 28, 1971, after her husband Jesse Paulk died on September 12, 1961. She was Church Secretary and Sunday School Teacher. She was a member of the Tarpon Springs Hospital (now Helen Ellis Memorial Hospital) Women’s Auxiliary. Mrs. Paulk was also a member and secretary for the Palm Harbor Junior High School PTA; secretary-treasurer of the Crystal Beach Chapter of Boy Scouts of America and received the Mother of an Eagle Scout Award; and a member of the National Association of Bank Women, Inc. having served as Treasurer of the Gulf Coast Group of N.A.B.W. She was nominated for listing in Who’s Who of American Women; she was the first recipient of the Courtesy Award given by the Greater Tarpon Springs Chamber of Commerce; she was named Woman of the Year by the American Business Women Association Tarpon Springs Charter Chapter; and Mrs. Paulk was also a Kentucky Colonel, having been awarded this honor by the Governor of Kentucky in 1974. She was selected for lifetime membership in the Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels for her work as an ambassador of good will and fellowship, based upon her strength of character, leadership and dedication to the welfare of others and for “living a life that placed others above self.” Frances was also a member in good standing in the Kentucky Colonels’ Good Works Program.

Her daughter Virginia was with her in Florida since she went blind as a result of macular degeneration and glaucoma in 2002. In October 2003, Mrs. Paulk, with the assistance of her daughter Virginia, was responsible for causing Verizon, Inc. to set up Call Centers for Customers with Disabilities in all 50 states. Also, due to the diligent efforts of Mrs. Paulk and Virginia, Verizon, Inc. since 2003 allows all customers who are unable to dial telephone numbers to simply “0” and the operator will then dial the number for them without any extra charges or fees.

Mrs. Paulk was best known for sweet Southern drawl, her kind and gentle ways, her honesty and dependability, her willingness to “go the extra mile” for friends and acquaintances alike. She was also a talented seamstress, who made all Virginia’s clothes until after she went off to college, as well as her own. She enjoyed reading, walking, cooking, sewing, needlepoint, working in her garden, playing the piano and bridge, travels to Germany, Chicago and Washington D.C. She enjoyed most her time spent with her family and friends. Her favorite activity, however, was participating in weekly church services and devoted her life living Christ’s word through her actions.

Mrs. Paulk is survived by her daughter, Virginia P. Gardner of Arlington Heights, Illinois, her son Dr. Michael E. (Maureen) Paulk of Payson, Arizona, her 4 grandchildren Jessica Gardner, David Gardner, Jesse Paulk and Ryan Paulk, her sister Dixie Gladney, her nieces Bobbie Ruth (Charles) Lavender of Roanoke, Virginia; Charlayne (Richard) Lamb of Batesville, Mississippi; her nephews Robert Harold Gladney and Vernon R. (“Sonny”) (Elizabeth Ann) Butler; her 5 great-nieces: Robbie (A.G.) Nichols, Dixie Lamb, Mazie Lamb, Elesha (Troy) Tucker, Mary Elizabeth Butler, her 3 great-nephews Yancy Butler, Garth Gladney, and Tom (Andrea) Gladney; her cousin Cornelia Waldrup DeFrances of Baton Rouge, Louisana; step-son-in-law Jim Erdman, step-son-in-law Jim Erdman; step-daughter Betty Earle (Don) Bredemeier Huffman; step-grandchildren the Rev. Chris Erdman, James Erdman, Julie Huffman, and Paul Huffman; and other family and friends. On the Paulk side of the family, she is survived by Buddy Paulk, Pam Paulk Kuiper, Gene Paulk, Dennis Paulk, Katie Paulk, Ronnie Pinder, and Dixie Gilpen. She was preceded in death by her brother Robert Scruggs, Jr.; her sisters Robbie Scruggs, Mazie Scruggs, and Johnnie Scruggs Butler; her step-daughter Margaret Ann Bredemeier Erdman, and her husbands Jesse E. Paulk and Rev. C.W.A. Bredemeier.

Visitation will be at Vinson’s Funeral Home at 456 E. Tarpon Ave. in Tarpon Springs, Florida on Friday, July 17, 2009, from 6pm – 8pm.

A Celebration of Life service will be held on what would be Mrs. Paulk’s 93^rd birthday at Crystal Beach Community Church 625 Crystal Beach Ave., Crystal Beach, Florida on Saturday, July 18, 2009, at 2pm. There will be a refreshments and a Birthday Cake in the Fellowship Hall afterwards for Family and Friends. The Reverend Dr. Susie Cashion will officiate.

Following services in Florida, her daughter Virginia & her grandchildren Jessica and David will accompany Frances’ body to her hometown of Batesville, Mississippi.

Complete details of the services and internment along with many memories and pictures of Mrs. Paulk can be found at Remembering Frances online at www.rememberingfrances.blogspot.com.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Crystal Beach Community Church, P.O. Box 571, Crystal Beach, Florida 34681 for restoration & protection of the church’s 60-year-old stained glass windows. Please write “Frances Paulk Memorial” in the MEMO section of your check.

Frances in Pictures

Frances Scruggs Paulk Bredemeier lived a remarkable life, much of it captured in pictures.

This slide show is about 5 minutes in length. I apologize for not having all of the pictures captioned yet. It's a work in progress.

Nana in Letters

Without fail, Nana wrote letters each week. When Dave and I were kids, the letters were to the family, but once we went off to college, we each started to receive our own letters. Some weeks, we each received personal handwritten letters and other weeks, she would write one letter to any number of family members - her children, sisters, and/or grandchildren - and simply xerox the letter and send it off to everyone. She never failed to praise us and take an interest in our interests. Her letters also always included a bit of wisdom from her life experience.

I have kept letters that especially spoke to me throughout the years and, as I look back at them now, I see that collectively they are a window into the person Nana was.

Originally written by Frances Paulk Bredemeier, November 8, 1994.

At the time she wrote this letter, Dave was studying in Florence, Italy as part of an Illinois State University study abroad program.

Dearest David,

This is election day - what a privilege to live in a free country - go to polls not fearing an arrest - vote for whom we choose.

The day I was returning from Uncle Michael's and as I was standing looking out the plane's window as I approached Washington D.C., I saw the Capitol for the first time in my life. Tears filled my eyes. I cannot express the feeling that crept over my body and mind. I thought what a load that building carries. The whole world is looking for guidance, support, finances from that building. The Capitol of our U.S. and the whole world. Such decisions that have to be made. May God guide and care for that building well.

That day meant so much to me. Had it not been for Jessica's forethought to get my ticket changed, I would not have had this opportunity to be in D.C. four hours.

I saw the awful flood in Northern Italy on TV tonight. So many without homes. So much tragedy in the world.

I am proud you have seen so many countries and sights. Whatever you decide about coming home, I am sure will be the right decision. Seems you have to make so many decisions, but seems you have made good ones.

I saw on TV tonight that a man, Fred Curtis, a sculptor for Waterford Crystal, was going to be in Tampa. He had some beautiful pieces of glass, even one for Miss America.

I just finished reading the book "The Romance of Leonardo da Vinci" - was not about a woman-man love life. Was mostly history during the years 1560-1600 or about then and how he painted and never finished some paintings. He was, however, in love with Mona Lisa, but could not give up all his science knowledge. He was always drawing a flying machine and trying to make one, so he's really the first to think of a flying machine. He said later in life that man would have a flying machine. He taught Michelangelo and Raphael about their colors - he was some 30 years older than them.

I love you David and enjoy the times there. I know you have much to tell.

Love you and God's blessings each day,

Nana

This next letter is an example of a group letter to Mom, Dave, and Me. Dave had graduated from Illinois State University shortly before Christmas and Nana was in Chicago for about 3 weeks. Unfortunately, Reverend Bredemeier got very sick two days before Christmas, had to be hospitalized, and Nana returned to Florida early.

December 30, 1996

Dear Ones,

Well, I did what I said I was going to do. I did it! Real proud of myself! (Ed. Note: I have no idea what she did.)

Even though I had to return early, the days were wonderful and also David's graduation. Was glad to know his safe trip.

I am enclosing a clipping about Armand Hammer. I have his book. Was an expensive book, but most interesting. I have read it twice and since this clipping will read again. Would either of you like to read - thick book - but one does not want to put it down. Shows good and bad - his father killed a man and stayed in prison long time.

Jessica, I sent your package to the office today. I put your pins in a little plastic box I had here.

Virginia, I mailed your coat today. I could not resist putting 5 grapefruit in. I wrapped each one in a paper and put inside of a bag. I hope they keep. I feel so guilty when I eat a grapefruit each day and you all do not have one right off the tree. I love you all so much. Throw fruit away if not good. You should have box by Friday. Look in your coat pocket. I put some cold medicine in the pocket and package of pins. I threw mine away. Those little tiny ones are dangerous. The lining is exact size of old one. Sleeves same length. When you put on, reach inside and pull lining up. I think old one was tacked in place, but I think best to leave loose. I am keeping old one if ever need again.

Know you will miss Jessica, but we have to get back in a routine and I know you will soon have house in order from having both kids home. I just know this will be a good year for you. Was so glad I could be with you and any time you need me - I will be there!!

I love you and you have not had all easy, but your hardships have made you strong.

Thursday - Glad you are safely back home. Happy for Jessica that she has invitation to inaugural ball. This is great. My granddaughter and your daughter going to the inaugural ball!!

I pray for each of us each night and through the day and especially for David now. Does he have enough funds? Don't want him going without food or place to sleep. He's so great.

Love you all,

Nana & Mother

Happy Days I Recall

In April 2002, Nana had a stroke and was hospitalized. During her recovery, she wrote a letter that I'm certain she copied and mailed to the entire family because this was her style. She often wrote personal letters to her sisters, children, and grandchildren, but if she had a general message, she would write one letter, make copies of it, and mail it out to everyone. Nana's letters were always handwritten.

I have always saved letters that touched my heart and this one is one of my favorites.

JLG

Originally written by Frances Paulk Bredemeier, April 2002.

Happy Days I Recall

Of course, a happy day was when Daddy (Jesse Paulk) and I married on September 30, 1938.

The happiest day was when I knew Jesus was my Lord and Savior - my strength and my redeemer.

I do not remember being baptized, but when I was a little girl about 6 or 7, Momma had a new dress for me and Momma and Daddy took me to Sunday School. We sat in little chairs in front of churt - about 7 or 8 children and their parents talked to us. I am sure that was the day I was baptized. I have always loved the Lord, but as I grow older, I realize each day - He is my strength and redeemer. He will never leave me or forsake me, if only I believe and I do.

Another great and happy day was when the nure handed me a darling baby girl - Virginia - September 12, 1948. Daddy and I thought we owned the world with Virginia, so sweet and precious.

Another day to remember was when a bouncing baby boy was handed to me, February 22, 1951 - Michael. Daddy thought the whole world was handed to him with that special baby boy. Virginia and Michael have both given us great pleasures then Daddy was taken away on September 12, 1961.

With dear thoughts of Daddy and God's help, they grew up and were a real pleasure, dear children. Never any trouble. I had many smiles each day.

Then came along another darling baby girl in Tampa on June 16, 1971, Jessica. (My first grandchild.) She was so cute and sweet. I remember driving over to Tampa to see the precious new arrival. Such a pleasure you have been. Then came another bouncing baby boy in Ft. Myers, Florida on October 5, 1974, David Gardner. All these dear little babies have made life worth living.

A few years ago, Jessica invited me to Washington, DC for Christmas. As the plane reached DC, I stood by the window and looked at the Capitol, never expecting to see it with my own eyes. I stood there in awe thinking about all the goverment under that dome. It was a sight I shall never forget. That Christmas she got many wonderful passes for us to see all of DC. David, bless his heart, got a wheel chair and pushed me all over Washington. Sights I had only studied in school - never expecting to see with my own eyes. Potomac River was real. All of the beautiful sights of DC and thanks to Jessica and David for all these wonderful sights. Even Christmas Eve services in the beautiful National Cathedral and then a drive to Roanoke, Virginia. I slept in the back seat all the way, but the next day, going back through all those mountains. Had I known I sure would not have slept. Anyway, was a wonderful Christmas - being with Virginia, Jessica, and David. Will always be a wonderful memory.

Then I think of Jesse and Ryan, (my grandsons from my son Michael). I only saw darling pictures of Jesse for a few months with Michael holding him in his arms. Such a precious picture. Then I few to Colorado when he was baptized at home. The preacher came to the house and Maureen (Michael's wife) and Michael had a few friends in. Jesse arrived November 30, 1981 and was named for his grandfather, Jesse Edward Paulk, and someone in Maureen's family was named Michael, so was a nice name - Jesse Michael Paulk - from both sides of the family.

Ryan arrived in a Dunedin, Florida on May 1, 1985 and named Ryan Thomas Paulk. I remember driving to the hospital when he was only a few hours old. He was so dear and sweet.

"Jessica, You're My Favorite Granddaughter"

Nana never played favorites. She loved and doted on each of her four grandchildren equally.

I was the first grandchild, born June 16, 1971. For almost 3 1/2 years, I was the only grandchild. Mom says that Nana was the second person to hold me when I was born. My dad was the first.

My brother David was next and born on October 5, 1974. Dave could do no wrong in her eyes and she was incredibly proud of both of his artistic and athletic abilities.

Because we lived in Florida until 1975, Nana got to see us regularly for the first few years of our lives. In my memory, Nana was either always in Ft. Myers with us or we were in Crystal Beach, although I'm sure that's not quite how it was.

My cousin Jesse was born on November 30, 1981 and named for our late grandfather, Jesse Paulk. Last, but not least, Jesse's younger brother, Ryan, was born on May 15, 1985. For a few years in the 80s, Jesse and Ryan, along with my Uncle Ryan and Aunt Maureen, lived in Crystal Beach, Florida and Nana loved having them in her life on a daily basis.

Dave and I great up in Chicago and didn't have the same daily relationship with Nana, but we spoke to her at least weekly, visited with her at least twice a year in person, and shared almost weekly letters back and forth.

Although she didn't ever play favorites, she never ended a phone call with me without telling me that I was her favorite granddaughter. Of course, I was also her only granddaughter, but I never let that cheapen the compliment.

Mrs. Paulk Goes to Washington

This was originally published on Little Merry Sunshine on Monday, June 8, 2009.

About 10:30 this morning, I received one of those dreaded phone calls. It was from my mom and she was calling to tell me that something happened with Nana last night and she wasn't expected to live through the week. My mom gave me the details of what happened with Nana, but all I heard was "Nana is dying," so I can't explain to you what my mom told me.

Many of you know about my Nana and know about the long ordeal we've had with her over the last 7 years. Newer readers of LMS probably don't know about my Nana. Frances Paulk is my maternal grandmother, my heroine, and my rock and it breaks my heart into 10 million pieces seeing her suffer. You can read more about her in these blog posts.

After I spoke with mom and wiped the tears from my face, I spent most of my day feeling numb. I also got to thinking about some of my favorite memories with Nana.

In the fall of 1994, Uncle Michael graduated from medical school in upstate New York. On her return flight to Florida, Nana had an hour layover in DC, where I'd been living for almost 18 months. Because Washington National Airport (now Reagan National Airport, UGH!) was just a few Metro stops from my office, I suggested that I meet Nana during my lunch hour. And then I had one of my most brilliant ideas.

Almost 80 years old, Nana had never visited Washington DC. As a surprise, I called the airline and arranged to have her layover changed from an hour to four hours. In retrospect, I'm not sure how she didn't know about this change, but when I met her at the gate and let her know of the change of plans, she sure did act surprised. We were going to use her layover to tour DC.

We hopped on the Metro (DC's subway) and rode it across the Potomac River and back into the District. Getting off directly under my office building, our first stop was my office at Hogan & Hartson. As we walked into the lobby and into my office (not a cubicle), she beamed with pride. Because I had just gotten a promotion, I had also just received my first business card. I gave her one that day and she carried it in her wallet until she stopped carrying a wallet.

We left my office and took a cab to my apartment. Although it was only about 6 or 7 blocks away, this was further than I thought she could easily walk and didn't want to spend our precious time walking. I wanted her to see as much of DC as possible in the short amount of time we had. It was from the window of my apartment that she first saw the Capitol and that was the first of many times that day she would say to me "In all my years, I never thought I'd see DC. I read about it in history books, but I never thought I'd walk in the city where George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abe Lincoln walked."

We grabbed another cab and I explained to the driver that my Nana had never visited DC before and that before he took us back to Washington National, I wanted him to show us everything. As luck would have it, he was a fountain of knowledge and eagerly drove us from my apartment to the Capitol, past the National Mall, to the Washington Monument, down Constitution Avenue to the Lincoln Memorial, up to National Cathedral, down Massachusetts Avenue past Embassy Row, down 16th Street to Pennsylvania Avenue and slowly in front of the White House, over to the Jefferson Memorial, across the 14th Street Bridge and the Potomac River, to the George Washington Parkway and to the airport.

The whole way, Nana sat with her face glued to the cab window taking in the sites not knowing if she'd ever return to the District. The only words she was able to speak were "I never thought I'd see Washington." When she finally emerged from the cab at National Airport, I saw for the first time, the tears of joy in her eyes. Her emotions were obvious and she didn't need to tell me how much she loved that afternoon, although I certainly knew.

That Christmas, I surprised her with one of those Washington DC coffee table books with beautiful pictures of all the sights we saw that afternoon. It was her favorite gift that year and it was certainly my favorite gift that I gave that year. One of the things I loved most about her was her memory. Even though she'd only seen it all once in person, she narrated the entire book to the entire family that Christmas afternoon.

I can't begin to count the number of times I heard her recount that day and how proud she was to be touring Washington with me. The thing is, I'm not sure who was prouder that day, her or me.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I do know that they're running some tests tonight and we should know more soon. I don't know if she really only has about a week left or if I'll blow out the candles on her 93rd birthday cake with her in July.

Part 2 tomorrow.

Fun Facts About Frances

1. Frances was the valedictorian at Batesville (MS) High School in 1935. This became a family tradition as both her daughter, Virginia, and son, Michael, were valedictorians at Tarpon Springs High School (FL) and her granddaughter, Jessica, was the valedictorian of her junior high, Thomas Junior High School (IL).

2. In 1933, Frances canned the most green beans in the State of Mississippi 4-H Contest and won a trip to the Chicago World's Fair, where she met and had breakfast with Amelia Earhart. Miss Earhart also presented Frances with an inscribed Elgin Platinum Watch.

3. Frances won a full 4-year scholarship to Bellhaven College in Jackson, Mississippi. Unfortunately, she was unable to attend college, but this did not dimish her lifelong love of learning.

4. In her late-60s, Frances took up piano lessons.

5. In her late-70s or early 80s, despite having never learned to swim (even though she'd lived steps from the Gulf of Mexico for 40 years), Frances participated in a water aerobics class at the local health club. It was during this class that she finally learned to float.

6. After her husband Jesse died in 1961, Frances was left to raise her two children, Virginia and Michael alone. A mere 8 years later, after saving all of her money, Frances built her own home, a beautiful one-story cottage with 3 bedrooms - all custom built to her exact specifications.

7. A lifelong Christian, Frances was a founding member of Crystal Beach Community Church. She also served as Secretary, Treasurer, and taught Sunday School. When her husband Jesse died suddenly in 1961, her devotion to CBCC and God led her to donate all the money received by the family to start a Pew Fund so that the members of CBCC no longer had to sit on wooden folding Army chairs. Within 6 months of Frances' donation, enough money had been raised to buy pews for the entire church and two choir lofts.

8. A beautiful and talented seamstress, Frances designed and made all of her own clothes plus the clothes for her daughter Virginia until Virginia went off to college. Frances also made clothes for Jessica and all of Jessica's dolls.

9. Just before her 80th birthday and retirement from NationsBank in 1996, Frances enrolled in a water exercise class, despite not even knowing how to tread water or float, much less swim. The class was held in the shallow end of a pool and during the course of the class, she decided she wanted to learn to float and tread water. I'll never forget her beaming with pride at showing me on her 80th birthday that she'd learn to float and tread water. Whenever I catch myself thinking I can't do something because "I'm too old" (I'm in my late 30s), I remember Nana overcoming this obstacle at 80 years old.

A Little More Information About Frances Paulk Bredemeier

Written by Virginia Paulk Gardner, daughter of Frances Paulk Bredemeier, April 20, 2007.

Mama was born in a log house her father had built out in the country in Batesville, Mississippi on July 18, 1916. Mama says it was was a "log house," not a "log cabin," because it had several bedrooms and a big front porch. Her parents were farmers. Batesville is a small town 60 miles south of Memphis, Tennessee and 20 miles west of Oxford, Mississippi.

When Mother was about 16 years old and active in "4-H," she canned the most green beans in the whole state of Mississippi. This won her a free trip to the Chicago's World's Fair in 1932, where she met and had breakfast with Amelia Earhart. Miss Earhart presented Mama with an inscribed Elgin Platinum Watch - Mama's other prize for canning the most green beans. [This was in the early Fall after Miss Earhart's first solo flight across the Atlantic on May 20, 1932.]

Mother graduated high school with start A's, was Class Valedictorian and gave the graduation speech at Batesville High School in 1933. Due to all her many high school achievements, she won a full 4-year scholarship to Bellhaven College in Jackson, Mississippi. Mama passed on her life-long love of learning to all her children and grandchildren. Both my brother, Michael, and I gave Valedictorian speeches at our high school graduations, and my daughter, Jessica, gave the Valedictorial Speech at her Junior High School graduation; but Mother was the only one of us to earn all "Straight A's"!

When her mother, Lillie, became sick and bed-ridden while Mama was still a very young girl, her mother taught her how to make patters and to sew. From that time one, she made all of the clothes for herself, her 3 sisters, and her mother. My mother was a beautiful and talented seamstress. She designed and made all my clothes so that I never had a store-bought outfit until after I went off to college. She continued to sew until Mama's sweet pretty blue eyes went blind in December 2002. When that happened, I'll always remember Mama asking me, "what will I do now, if I cannot sew?"

But God helped MOther to discover and to see that there are always many gifts in every disability and hardship that comes our way.

As a result of Mama's blindness, not only did God make it possible for me to be able to be with her for the rest of her years, even though my home has been in Illinois since 195, but there was an even greater gift yet to come when I discovered that Verizon charged every disabled person $2 for every local call and $6 for each long distance call plus $1 per minute for all call an Operator had to disal for them, even when no one answered the call.

So, on Mother's behalf, I filed a Complaint against Verizon of Florida with the FCC in September 2003, in order to get them to comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 and the Federal Telecommunications Act of 1997, both of which require all phone companies to waive those extra fees for persons who are not able to dial their own phone calls.

Within 30 days, Verizon set up call centers for customers with special needs in all 50 states. now Verizon provides special services for all disabled people, not just those who are hearing or speech impaired. I'm working now with Verizon to get all phone companies and states to provide Voice-Activated Calling Devices for customers who need them, just as TDD/TTY equipement is provided free of charge to all speech and hearing-impaired people.

Mama now sees how God used her blindness to make it possible for her and I to be able to be together now for all her remaining years, as well as used Mama's blindness to help millions of disabled people all over America to now be able to have better and more indepedent access to phone service.

Frances Lily Scruggs Marries Jesse Edward Paulk

Originally written by Virginia Paulk Gardner, daughter of Frances Paulk Bredemeier, April 20, 2007.

My mother, Frances Lily Scruggs, and father, Jesse Edward Paulk, were married at Idelwilde Presbyterian Church in Memphis, Tennessee, on September 30, 1938. During World War II, my father served with the Army Corp of Civil Engineers in Germany and then in France. During that time, my mother was a supervisor on the War Price and Ration Board, and also worked as assistant to the General who managed a German Prisoner of War Camp near Sardis, Mississippi.

After the war, my mother and father built their home and lived in Batesville, Mississippi. My father set up his own plumbing and deep-water well drilling business there so that his two brothers, who were still being held captive in German POW camps, would have a business to work in with him when they were released. Both my brother, Michael (1951), and I (1948) were born in Oxford, Mississippi.

Even though Daddy specialized in drilling deep-water wells, in April 1953, he brought in the largest gas well ever brought in in the Southeastern United States. He accomplished this because he had the courage to meet the infamous and wealthy Texas wildcatter, J.T. Whitlock, who had been trying for over a decade to bring in this particular gas well using standard oil and gas drilling rigs. Daddy told him that he could bring in the well using his deep-water well drilling equipment.

Daddy succeeded in doing what he said he could do, but the wealthy J.T. Whitlock never paid my father or any of the other poor farmer in Fulton, Mississippi, from whom he had purchased the lifetime oil and gas rights under all their land for only $0.05 to $0.10 per acre. Daddy's well is still pumping gas that is piped all the way to Texas to this day.

In 1956, my mother and father, along with Michael and me, moved to Crystal Beach, Florida. Daddy continued his well-drilling business and drilled the first drinking-quality water wells here in Crystal Beach. He knew that water wells in this area had to be drilled deeper to get past the more shallow water wells, which produced only water that was full of sulfer, making the water smell and taste like rotten eggs. Many houses in Crystal Beach still get their water straight from the wells my father drilled.

My mother began working at Ellis National Bank as an assistant cashier and foreign exchange teller. After a few years, bank president and owner, A.L. Ellis (at that time, one of the richest men in America), made mother the first woman Vice President ever in all of his many banks. Later, Ellis National Bank became NCNB, then NationsBank, and now Bank of America. Altogether, Mother worked in the bank in Tarpon Springs for 40 years, until her retirement on her 80th birthday on July 18, 1996.

My mother and father loved God dearly and tried to live their lives to help others. They were founding members of Crystal Beach Community Church, took us to Church and Sunday School every Sunday, and taught us to love God with all our hearts and souls. They spent time helping both of us to memorize hundreds of Bible verses after our homework was done.

At bedtime, they read us Uncle Wiggley stories, followed by a Bible story and then they would kneel down with us while we each said our nighttime prayers. Finally, we would say the Lord's Prayer all together.

We moved from Mississippi to Florida the day after I finished 2nd grade and my brother was not yet in school. When Mama and Daddy took me to Palm Harbor Elementary and Junior High School to enroll me in 3rd grade, we all sat in small chair around on of the low round wooden tables, along with my new teacher, Mrs. Wiseman. As she talked to them, always calling them Mr. Paulk or Mrs. Paulk, I was busy evaluating this kindly old woman with gray hair and a warm, soft kind voice sitting to my right.

When it seemed everything was completed, I notieced her lean forward and looking quickly up at her, I saw her look my father straight in the eye as she said, "Now, Jesse, I have only one more thing to say to you and it is this: I am absolutely certain that I am going to enjoy having Virginia in my class and teaching her every bit as much as I enjoyed teaching you!"

It turned out that she had taught my father in the red brick, one-room school house (now School House Restaurant on Alt-19 on the way to Tarpon Springs), her first year out of teacher's college and still single. Now, more than 3 decades later and only 3 years away from her retirement, my Daddy's teacher was going to teach me.

My mother loved to sew, cook, and tend her plants and flowers, both in the house and in the yard. Daddy loved all nature - rocks, trees, animals, birds, and fish, and enjoyed working in the yard planting flowers for my mother and planting trees and hedges. Daddy also loved to hunt and fish and taught both me and Michael to fish and be out in the water with him.

My mother taught Sunday School at Crystal Beach Community Church. My father sang in the choir. Michael and I both sang in the Children's Choir and also played the bells. I also sang in the girls' trio. Long before CBCC had automatic chimes installed, until he went to college, my brother Michael spent one hour every evening at 6pm playing the church chimes, which could be heard throughout Crystal Beach. We would wait supper until he got home.

On my 13th birthday, September 12, 1961, Daddy died suddenly of a heart attack. Although it was certainly difficult to be a single mom in the 1960s, my mother continued to work and raise Michael and me. One of her proudest accomplishments was being able to see us both not only graduate from high school but also put us through college as well.